apologies are so last week...

I know, I've been gone for a long time. To be honest, I feel like readership has dropped off so I figured nobody would really miss me. (except you, Dagny. I miss you too.) I mean, really, I used to be funny. Okay, funny-ish. Back when I was bitter and sarcastic and stuff. Right now? Not so bitter, not so funny, just enjoying my life. Really.

My brother's wedding was beautiful. However, taffeta is not my friend. Somebody at the wedding asked me, "so when's your due date?" !!! I repressed the urge to clobber him with my bouquet, because a) he's one of the nicest people I know, and b) that day it really wasn't about me. But yeah, I looked phat fat. I could pretend to be outraged or hurt, but I know that this belly is mostly a result of my inability to "put down the fucking fork", as is said in cynical circles.

Then we went to Seattle for a wedding. The wedding was gorgeous, we were very happy for the couple, but the trip was just not good timing for us. Too many things interrupted. And I got mastitis in Seattle and got to navigate the lovely American health care system (good thing we have insurance). And then we came back, and it was Rosh Hashanah, and then I got sick with a nasty cold, and here we are.

So really, you didn't miss anything.

Am I allowed to demonstrate my patheticness now? Is "patheticness" a word? I think not. Whatever.

Anybody else remember the last time I had a really nasty cold, nosebleeds, and a resting pulse rate over 82? Anybody? How about now?

I'm not saying I am, and I'm not saying I'm not. I'm not sure what I really think or how I really feel... but I just had to put it out there. According to murphy's law, AF will come soon and I won't have to wonder.