Holy crap, batman!

Kali just pooped so forcefully that it exited her diaper and exploded up her back. If I hadn't responded as quickly as I did, I'd be cleaning it out of her hair right now.

It's all our fault.

Or so it seems. You know how Kali was fussing and crying and not going to sleep until 2 a.m.? Well, for the last two nights she's been down around 10:00 with no fuss at all. What changed, you ask? I'll explain, but I know full well that by the end of this you'll be shaking your head and wondering how two highly intelligent people could have been so stupid.

All those nights she didn't go to sleep until very late, we were essentially waiting for her to fall asleep. She didn't, and then she got overtired, and then she was unable to sleep at all. Oh, sure, we tried putting her in her crib - right after taking her from the bright living room to her room and swaddling her as she fought with all her might.

Last night we tried something different. At 9:00 we bathed Kali, gave her a massage (with lavendar vanilla lotion), and then Mr. D held her and rocked in the glider while we sang broadway tunes (slow, soothing ones. not "do you hear the people sing" or anything else that might inspire a bedtime rebellion complete with little fists and a diaper blowout. But I digress). When she stopped raising her head and shoulders to look around, presumably for a more happening party, Mr D and I switched seats and I nursed Kali while we sang some more. I burped her, we rocked, and she got nice and drowsy. That's when I slowly lowered her into the crib, swaddled her, Mr. D. turned on the hair dryer, and we sang some more and patted her tummy until she settled a bit in her crib. Nightlight out, door shut. Sleeping baby.

Are you ready for the punchline?

Last night, after that routine, she slept for EIGHT HOURS. 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. I know it could have been a fluke, and now that I've blogged it it will definitely never happen again, but whoa. Huge difference between 8 solid hours and waking up every 3 hours to nurse.

I can't believe we were stupid enough to think that a baby with only a few weeks of life experience would be able to put herself to sleep. Duh. I almost deserve Dr. Phil's snarky "who's the parent here?" and a smack upside the head. It makes me sick to think of all the sleep I could have had... all because I didn't realize that I'm the mommy, and bedtime is when I say it is.

Or maybe she'll sleep in 2 hour spurts tonight and through the weekend, and blow my whole theory out of the water.

I'm taking bets. What do you think will happen?

can't I just scrap the whole darn thing?

I never thought I'd say this, but I'm making a scrapbook. For Kali, of course. And the first thing I've learned about scrapbooks is that there's a lot of overpriced stuff out there.

After going to the big box craft store and spending about $60 on an album and some paper, I happened by doll.arama and found tons of scrapbook stuff. I stocked up on everything I'll need for at least a few months, all for $30. I returned the other stuff to the big box store.

And then, as I contemplated the need for cute little die-cuts and other embellishments, it hit me: we got tons of greeting cards with cute little baby designs on them. Some of them even have 3-D die cuts on the fronts. Who the heck needs to buy cute little cutouts? I have a bonanza right here in my recycle bin.

just one thing... I bought myself a fis.kars shape cutter, which is supposed to let you do freestyle cutting, but I'm just not getting the hang of it. Any thoughts?

Sleep... finally!

Sorry 'bout the prolonged absence... we went through about a week where Kali wouldn't sleep at night. Literally. It took me three or four days to figure out that I should be napping along with her like I did when she was just born. Last night she finally slept the way she used to - a few hours at a time, and right back to sleep after nursing - and today I feel human again.

(for the record, I did take her to my parents' house one night this past week, so that Mr. December and I could each get some good sleep. My mom took care of Kali from 10 p.m. (when I went to bed) until 5 a.m. (when I woke up with serious engorgement). It was lovely and we're planning to do it again just for a break.)

Can't remember if I've already written about this, but we're on serious budgeting measures right now. I've decided now that Kali can focus on things and remain awake for quite a while, we should get her a mobile or a playgym or something... so I'm scouring Craigslist. Cross your fingers that the $20 tiny love symphony in motion mobile is still available. Or the $30 island play mat.

Those of you who have babies, how many of these things do/did you have? A mobile? Swing with dangling toys? Crib toys that attach to the side and play music? How much does one baby need?

overheard in the December home last night

Kali: WAAAAAAA!
DB: really? you don't say!
Kali: NEH! NEH! AAAAAAAAAA!
DB: well, now you're just repeating yourself.
Kali: AAA! NEH! NEH! NEEEEEEEEH!
DB: ask your father.
____________________________________________

Kali: HEH, HEH, NEEEEH!
Mr. D: What does she want?
DB: Nothing she hasn't already gotten at least 10 times today.
Mr. D: (to Kali) OK, kid, that's it. You're cut off.
Kali: NEH!

Long time no post

Sorry I haven't posted in a while... we've been dealing with some increased crying in the past week, and it's hard to type when you're simultaneously shushing, rocking, bouncing, and patting the baby's back while singing, "go to sleep, go to sleep/ so I won't have to sell you/ to the gypsies or the church/ sleep so mommy can sleep too..."

I have so many thoughts I don't know where to start. Maybe today's entry should be in point form.

And now that I've sat down and decided to write in point form, all thoughts have escaped my head.

In some places, your arrival is heralded by greetings, food, drink, and a place to sit. In parenthood you're welcomed with a mess of bodily fluids, a lobotomy, and a feast that includes whatever you can grab and eat in one minute or less.

When I said it before, I was being facetious... but for me, this really is the dream factory. I just wish that the union running this factory could work out a better arrangement for time off.

"So it turns out you're not infertile!" (rant)

Believe it or not, I've heard this line from quite a few people in the wake of my successful pregnancy. Somehow nobody got the memo on the definition of infertility, and those who have gotten it have filed it under "g". Their argument runs along the lines of "well, you did get pregnant, and you have a baby now, so that means you're not infertile!"

Let me say this once just to be clear... even though I'm preaching to the choir here. Bear with me.

Infertility is a biological disorder involving organs that are not functioning properly. Fertility treatments involve medications and procedures that mimic the natural process that is supposed to be happening, the way that insulin injections mimic the release of insulin that a diabetic's body should be doing but can't. These days, diabetics on insulin actually can eat some sugars depending on the dosage of insulin they take before meals (as I understand it - please don't crucify me if I'm totally wrong). Yet nobody would dream of telling such a diabetic, "oh... you're eating a cookie. I'm so glad you're not diabetic anymore!"

See how wrong that would be?

Telling an infertile who successfully achieved and maintained a pregnancy that she's not infertile anymore is the same. Treatments have allowed infertiles to temporarily overcome the effects of infertility. They are not a cure. I'm infertile. I'm also very, very lucky to have had success with the available treatments.

End of rant.