Sunday, November 02, 2008

Ugh... stressed!

I love my life, my family, my baby girl, my home, and most of my work.

But I'm so so so stressed. And irritable.

Little things: Mr. December didn't change Kali's diaper when she woke up from her nap, and he took her to his parents' house and they didn't change her diaper at all... so we're talking about almost seven hours with no diaper change. This is NOT OKAY, people.

And why can't he empty the dishwasher for a change? Really? Why? Or maybe wipe off the table when he's done feeding Kali?

Big things: My new tutoring student is being a pain in the ass. I feel like I was misinformed of the subject matter I was supposed to teach, the true nature of this kid's challenges... and put in a difficult position in other ways. I'm so pissed off I want to scream. And then quit, and spend every day on the floor with Kali, blowing bubbles and blowing kisses.

All this stress is making me tense, and now I have a crick in my neck and it kills.

The worst part is, this feels a bit over-the-top. (oh, did I leave out the part where I was on the subway on my way home from tutoring, and I saw an ad featuring adorable babies, and I almost cried because I had just wasted two hours of my daughter's life that I won't get back?)

So yeah, it feels over the top. Almost... hormonal. But I'm not on progesterone (evil evil hormone), I'm not pregnant (trust me, I've peed on more sticks than I care to admit), and I'd be shocked if my period was coming anytime soon. I'm still breastfeeding and we haven't made any major changes to the frequency of feedings, so really I have no idea where this is coming from.

And I really wanna pig out on chocolate, but I can't. We're on a diet. Because yet another person asked if I'm pregnant again.

I am NOT PREGNANT, people! I'm FAT and sub-fertile. Thanks for asking.

Bah, humbug.

7 comments:

Aurelia said...

I'm so sorry, I really relate about the diet stuff and the comments--where do these people come from?

And I'm sorry about the peesticks. :(

Dagny said...

(((Hug)))

Maybe it's the darkness. I get that way when it's dark....

I'd say I was sorry about the pee sticks, but I'm a bitter infertile, so I feel nothing for anyone. ;) Just kidding, sorry about that too.

xoxoxoxo

ms. c said...

Ugh is right. I hear you on everything- the husband stuff and the weight stuff. (Today I was lying on the sofa with Sacha and I thought to myself: wow this is what my belly looked like when I was pregnant. Sad, I know.)

I wish the peesticks had other news...

Dagny said...

Sorry I didn't call you!!! We were just there and then we left....

But I'll be back...hopefully pg, but even if not, I'll be back. ;)

xoxo

Parenthood For Me said...

Hello-
I am an adoptive mom who also experience with the infertility journey.
Our non profit is
http://www.parenthoodforme.org/

Our mission is to provide financial and emotional support to those starting families through adoption or medical intervention.
Please visit our web site and pass the information on.
Thank you for your support.

Sincerely,
Erica Schlaefer

sariel & shlomit said...

hey...you've had this up for a while...what's up?
thinking of you and hoping life is a little less stressful these days.
peace
shlomit

sariel & shlomit said...

Hey...sorry we couldn't make it the other night -- hope it was fun!!!!
what's up with you, my friend????
peace
shlomit