Welcome to the dream factory...

I'm 26. I don't ovulate unless coerced by strange herbs. I suspect PCOS, although apparently no doctor wants to see me. I got pregnant by a stroke of luck, and miscarried AFTER the risk had gone down to 5%.

I am, by all accounts, an exceedingly fortunate person. I have a functional family (well, just dysfunctional enough to be funny). I have a wonderful husband who knows how to make me laugh and who puts up with my hormonal mood swings. I have a number of friends, some of whom are genuinely helpful in tough times. I'm intelligent and reasonably attractive.

And...

I'm fat, and for some reason can't maintain a healthy weight. I'm a bit neurotic. I have a tendency to obsess and ruminate over the bad things that happen to me. My self-esteem has taken several beatings over the years and until now I've always bounced back. I'm unable to keep my apartment clean for longer than a few days.

And I'm depressed... and hopeless... and when I express my fear that I'll never have children, never conceive, the well-meaning people I know say...

"Of COURSE you'll get pregnant!"

um, yeah. where did you get YOUR medical degree?

I've ovulated exactly three times since 2006 began. Twice I induced it by drinking Fertilitea. Otherwise I'm doomed to 70+ day cycles that leave me wondering why God even gave me ovaries. But yeah, OBVIOUSLY I'm going to get pregnant. It's just a matter of time before... um... my ovaries wake up? God decides to stop jerking me around? The wait to see a gynecologist is LESS than 4 months from referral until appointment time?

Of course I'll get pregnant. Or not.

Welcome to the dream factory.