Sunday, July 05, 2009

Pessimism, or reality?

So I got inseminated today...

(huh. It sounds like the beginning of a very offbeat stand-up comedy set, but I don't know where to take it from here. Any thoughts?)

Anyhow. The day before the trigger I had a follicle at 17mm, and the next one behind was 13 mm. So really, we're probably just talking about one follicle.

We had 18 million motile sperm post wash, which is pretty decent.

Nice Jewish Doctor said, "it looks really good. I think you've got a great chance this cycle". To which I responded, "um, thanks, but we've heard that before."

"And you've gotten pregnant before," he pointed out. "Try to stay positive. It helps."

Well, thanks, doc. I may have gotten pregnant before, but that was once, out of six cycles that looked "really good".

Am I being pessimistic, or just realistic? And does it really have any bearing on whether or not sperm meets egg, sperm likes egg, egg reciprocates warmly, and they decide to make a baby?


Gil said...

One day at a time hon. That's all you can ask for.

A dose of reality is good, but not so much that it weighs you down. So just focus on the day to day stuff, Kali and other goings-on in your life. And the rest will take care of itself. *hugs*

Aurelia said...

One day at a time is right! Now go think of something else for the 2ww. You deserve better!

Jay3fer said...

OMG, I had no idea. :-o
Massive sprinkling of baby dust, headed your way. Tehillim, too, if I get my act together. :-)))

ms. c said...

While it certainly doesn't hurt the psyche to "be possitive", I have little faith in this mindset helping sperm meet egg and create a baby 40 weeks later.
I'm with you on the "realist" front. If I had a penny for everytime my husband and I had this very conversation...

Shinejil said...

Ugh, I hate being told to think positively. It basically guarantees I'll feel negatively about the whole process. :)

So be as down, realistic, frustrated, angry as you need to be. Just take really good care of yourself, that's what I say.

Take good care of yourself! Here's to a swift wait full of pleasant distraction.

the Babychaser: said...

I hate people who tell me to "stay positive." My rant:

What exactly does "staying positive" help? I'm not sure staying positive helps me emotionally handle the cycle any better--in fact, being cynical seems to suit me just fine.

And I don't believe for a minute that "positive thinking" is what's missing from my fertility regimen. I just don't.

And I REALLY don't need to feel guilty about one more thing I'm not doing perfectly to make this cycle work. Everyone thinks there's something else I should do. Herbs I need to take. Yoga I need to be doing. Four years in and I'm now learning I need to give up soy and green tea. I feel guilty enough that I can't be perfect. Don't make me feel guilty about not "thinking postive" at the same time.

So my take: be as skepical as you like! It's your cycle, and your hormones, and if you want to think it isn't going to work, feel free.

I hope you're surprised, though.

Anonymous said...