Cease and de-cyst!

Ding-dong, the cyst is dead
Cyst old cyst, the big ol' cyst
Ding-dong, the big old cyst is dead!

After discussion with my doctor, we're going to do Femara and injectables this cycle. I've never done injectables before. Is it like doing a trigger shot, or scarier? Be honest.

Question: how long does it take to get your period after stopping the Pill? I don't want to get my period while I'm on vacation, but if I could time it for my first day back that would be great.

Toddleriffic

Kali is a toddler now. I observed this while watching her lie down on her stomach, kick her legs, and cry simultaneously. She grabs toys from others and chases little boys around, yelling, until she catches them and gives them gigantic hugs. Most of the boys are afraid of her.

The honeymoon is over. I now have a toddler who behaves like a caveman (don't they all?), and it's time to civilize her. Better prepare the time-out corner.

Benched.

Did I say "here we go again"? I was wrong.

There's a cyst of 2.9 mm on my right ovary. I can't cycle this month. I'm now on birth control pills (oh, the irony!) to try to shrink it.

So... nothing to see here, folks. Absolutely nothing.

CD1

Here we go again...

Well, duh.

I'm not pregnant. When the nurse called and told me that the test was negative, I said, "yeah, I know."

"Oh," she said, "did you already start bleeding?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, but I've done this many times, and I've been pregnant twice. It was pretty obvious. The three HPT's were a bit of a clue, too."

I'm amazed that a clinic that deals with infertiles all the time isn't more accustomed to those of us who really know our bodies.

Mr. December convinced me to take the progesterone last night "just in case". So I guess we'll be seeing AF sometime around Wednesday.

14 dpo

BFN. I really want to stop the progesterone tonight. Does anybody have a sane reason why I shouldn't? Aside from "well, you might still be pregnant..."? Because people, I've been pregnant twice before. I'm definitely not pregnant right now.

12 dpo

Still nothing. I'll keep you posted, but don't hold your breath.

(oh, and my abs feel really really tired, like I've been working them hard. Except that I haven't. So what's that about?)

new math?

Sorry about the bad math last post. I was only 9 dpo. Apparently simple addition *is* that hard.

I peed on a stick this morning (11 dpo). Negatory.

Progesterone is fucking with me. Last night I had honest-to-goodness nausea, including the whole "mouth filling up with saliva" thing. Also, I have reached maximum bitchiness. Even Mr. December said I was behaving like a toddler... and he was right.

I know that 11 dpo is technically early, but I feel very certain that this cycle was a wash. I can't believe I have 4 more days of progesterone hell until the clinic will let me get off this train.

stuffy

My nose is stuffy. Not like "it's congested and I can clear it by blowing my nose". Nope, it's more like "my nasal passages just feel narrower somehow". I remember this feeling from last time I was pregnant, but it sure as hell wasn't an EPS. Mind you, last time I was pregnant the 2ww passed in a blur of being majorly sick. So really, I don't know. I sure as hell don't think I'm pregnant, but that's probably just a defense mechanism rather than an actual intuitive feeling. After all, I have had an awful lot of pelvic twinges lately...

What I do know for sure is that I have almost another week of progesterone hell. I was so tired this afternoon that I took a nap, and then was awake enough to hear Kali crying, then wailing, then screaming, but I couldn't actually move my body. That was trippy, and not in a good way. I'm bloated to the point where I can't wear my jeans unless I unbutton them, so I've been wearing yoga pants all day.

It's 10 dpo. Five more days til beta. Shouldn't I be feeling something - one way or the other - by now?

Um, yeah... no.

As of right this second, I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant.

Yeah, I know things can change quickly, and it's only 8 dpo and maybe implantation hasn't even happened yet but will... but I'm really really not feeling it at all. Even my evil progesterone symptoms seem to be gone for now.

I have a to-do list as long as my arm, but I'm seriously considering going to bed. It's not exhaustion, it's escapism. Is that so bad? (don't answer that)

It's sunny and beautiful out, but freaking cold. I need spring. Or a positive beta. Either way.

been there, done that... I think.

It's 6 dpo. Okay, scratch that. It's after midnight, so I guess it's 7 dpo. Is it too soon to think anything of the wretched cramps I'm feeling?

I'd love to be all hopeful and blow sunshine out my ass. But really, the chance of pregnancy in any given IUI cycle is only okay. Besides, my pulse is still slow and I've yet to have a gushing nosebleed - my hallmark early pregnancy sign.

I won't POAS. Partly because I don't have any tests left after last month's mindfuck, and partly because I just don't want to. So there. I'm supposed to get my beta done next Sunday (although I might go on Monday instead, because they won't run the bloodwork until Monday anyhow). Maybe I'll POAS on Monday morning. If I am, by some miracle, pregnant... it'll be a good day to find out. Purim is Monday night. It's the holiday when we're commanded to get drunk off our asses (along with other, perhaps more noble, religious observances) and I'd hate to accidentally pickle an embryo.