Monday, April 02, 2007

The paralysis of beta day

So you know, my temperature dropped this morning. So did my cervix. Looks like yesterday's temp and symptoms were just an elaborate April Fool's joke. Guess I'm the fool.

So I know that I'm not pregnant, and yet this tiny part of me still can't get over all of the symptoms ("it must be something, I haven't had many of these on progesterone in past cycles...), so I'm waiting to hear my beta result. And until then, I feel like I'm paralyzed. I'm exhausted. I'm just sitting at my computer, randomly clicking on blogs, coming back here to check for comments.

I haven't cleaned my kitchen for pesach yet. I did get to the point of bringing all my pesach stuff up from the basement storage locker. But dammit, I can't get my ass up to clean up the kitchen and put stuff away. I just want to go back to bed.

And my mom is expecting me to come over and help in her kitchen all day. Maybe we should arrange a switch... she comes here to clean, I go there to cook. It's all good.

Ugh. I just want to go back to bed. And stay there.

7 comments:

Ms C said...

Chag Sameach, Sara.
I totally empathize with the "is this a symptom" carziness. It's all a totally mindfuck. I'm so so sorry that your cycle has ended this way...
Wish I was there- I would be over in a joffy to help you with the kitchen.

Jennifer said...

I will hold out hope for you until/when/if the beta is bad.

And I would also help you with your kitchen if I was closer!!!

sariel & shlomit said...

wish i could have hung around this morning and helped you clean...or actually, helped you goof off and distract ourselves from our infertility woes...

i hope the time passes quickly and you can get yourself distracted or something in the meantime (yah, right!)...sariel and i are over here thinking about you and wishing for only the best...

by the way -- your soup KICKS ASS!!!!

biggest of hugs!

peace & love,
shlomit

shelbel said...

Sara...I'm thinking of you today. Hoping and praying for the best.

love you much...

Chili said...

I think a kitchen switch sounds like the perfect solution. Think the chances are good she'll go for that? ;)

On pins and needles here waiting for your beta results!

The Town Criers said...

Wish that the timing was different so you didn't have so much on your plate while you were trying to deal with this too. I'm sorry, Sara. Still holding out hope for you until told otherwise. Have a sweet seder tonight.

Suzy said...

Waiting sucks!! Thinking of you Sara. It's so hard to concentrate on anything else, too, while you are in the waiting game.