Wednesday, June 13, 2007

what the fucking fuck?

We got this letter in our mailbox at our new house:



It immediately sent me into a rage, because

a) it's anonymous, so the person who sent it is too chickenshit to just say something
b) the person who sent it has the audacity to speak for all the neighbours (I'm pretty sure they didn't have a meeting and vote unanimously on this one)
c) all of the neighbours in a 5-house radius know that we haven't moved in yet, are still renovating, and that renovations are messy.
d) I do not want to be bullied into obeying someone else's arbitrary standards for garden neatness.

So, faithful readers, I need you to vote on what I should do next. Please consider the following options:

1. Post a big, ugly sign on the lawn that says, "dear neighbours, when we have completed our renovations we will be happy to clean up our yard and keep it that way. Sorry for the sign, but since you contacted us anonymously we have no idea of how better to reach you. Thanks."

2. Send a reply letter to all of the neighbours with a copy of this letter attached.

3. Go around to every neigbour's house and ask, "do you know who's in charge of sending these things?"

4. Cover my lawn in pink flamingoes.

5. Cover my lawn in garden gnomes.

6. Buy a totally wrecked car, and prop it up on cinder blocks as a lawn ornament.

7. Paint the garage and front door bright turquoise (it's a very sedate, traditional neighbourhood)

8. Just ignore them and keep on doing what we're doing.


Help me out... right now I'm still using the word "fuck" at an alarming frequency... so I'm still pissed about it. I'm gonna go get a chipwich; you guys vote on what to do, and then I'll take some action.

Thanks in advance. Other suggestions are also welcome.

16 comments:

Aurelia said...

Oh heck...I can't believe this.

I vote for dropping around a very sweet apolegetic note to all the closest neighbours, explaining about the reno, and that you'll be all cleaned up soon. Maybe add some cookies?

The innocent will guilt the living heck out of the neighbour who DID do it, and you will have made a bunch of new friends.

Smother the offender with guilt-inducing apologies...it will take the wind right out of their sails.

Erin said...

I agree w/ Aurelia!! I think be really nice attach a copy of the letter that the assbag wrote and then everyone will be saying what a jerk...Why didn't that person just talk to you!! etc. etc.... Then your neighboors will totally understand and be on your side... Although I like the Idea of having a big sign in the yard too... Good Luck Sara!!!

Ariah said...

Okay, I'm all for #6 combined with #7 - I'll buy the paint!

For longtime peace though, politely replying to all the neighbors (with a copy of the letter you received attached) would probably be most effective - and garner the most support for you!

Gotta love nosy neighbors (NOT!) - good luck!

tipsymarie said...

Ooh, I like Aurelia's idea! But, the sign is a GREAT idea as well.

Heather said...

I like the first one - but I'm really leaning towards number six too.

Or you can be vindictive and go out in the middle of the night and bleach everyone elses yards.

Barb said...

I posted this on EB too:

I vote for #1. Put up a sign!
I owned a condo in NY and I had the WORST neighbors EVER!!! They used to call the police on me because my TV was too loud. I lived alone. No surround sound, seriously!
I hate hate HATE people that behave so ridiculously!

That being said, you have to live there, so you might not want to make too many waves.

I'd send the nice letter! Kill the bastard with kindness!!!

Lot's of Luck!

My Reality said...

What the fuck?

I would really love it if you would take a picture of the front of your new house, actually, even just the yard, and post it.

I don't know what I would do. Perhaps ask someone nest door what they might know. If the neighbours are talking, you concern will be expressed.

Then I vote for painting the front door orange, the garage turquiose, line the path to the front doors with pink flamingoes and then get something to cover the yard with. I think gnomes are too tasteful for this. If you need help re-doing the front yard, let me know.

FosterAbba said...

Ignore everyone. Keep doing what you are doing, and when the renovations are done, clean up your yard and don't worry about it.

Does your neighborhood actually have CC&Rs (covenants, codes and restrictions) that require you to have a neat yard at all times?

If not, then ignore the note.

If it does, then go talk to the board of directors of the homeowner's association.

Rachel Inbar said...

I've got to admit, I really like the car idea :-)

Caro said...

I vote for the gnomes but aurelias idea is probably more sensible.

You could also submit it here:
http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

Rebecca said...

5, 6, 7 and 8 :D

Gil said...

Aurelia's suggestion will work, that's for SURE!

The devil in me wants to go with the silly lawn ornaments (of whatever sort), the car on cinder blocks (cause that shouts "style" in any neighborhood!), and of course, a BRIGHT door that screams "Look at me!" when residents drive down the street. The garish look must be in style somewhere!

Let me know if you want help redecorating too. I think us Canuck blogging chicks oughta find a good excuse like this to get together. :) Or at least... send cookies!

BTW, hugs to you and gratz on the 10 weeks. I continue to be absolutely THRILLED for you!

Jennifer said...

Definitely the lawn sign.

What a fucking loser.

Sorry you have to deal with that. :(

LorMar said...

Place the large sign on your front lawn. Personally, I can't believe that someone would have the audacity to complain when you are trying to renovate your home.

Tina said...

I vote for all of the ABOVE!!!

WTF??? Talk about being immature and gutless... In the 4 years we have lived in our house, this is the first year that the outside looks like it is shaping up! No one got on our case about it - they new we were renovating as we can...

Trish said...

Do I only get to choose ONE?

1. 4. 5. 6. All.