More MIL craziness:
MIL: "ooh, let's go over all the things that are already developed in the baby!" (yes, she actually said this)
Me: "Let's not."
MIL: "So, what foods have you given up?"
Me: "Given up? Like, for Lent? We're Jewish, and Lent was months ago."
MIL: "No, for the baby."
Me: "Oh. Well, I don't smoke crack anymore. I've also given up putting up with stupid questions. But that's not a food."
MIL: "Well, you have to eat lots of Omega-fatty-acid fish, right?
Me: "I don't eat fish."
MIL: "But what about the baby's brain?"
Me: "We don't actually have that kind of control, you know."
So after realizing how much fun I was having being a snarky-ass, I realized: I shouldn't wait to become all gaga and baby-crazed. That's not my style. I am enjoying this pregnancy. I'm enjoying burping for two, rolling my eyes for two, and bitching for two. I plan to have a snarky comeback for every stupid question. When people go gaga, I'll be going sarcastic. That's just who I am.
Oh, and I say fuck a lot. Enjoy.
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5 comments:
See nooow I think you're just trying to up your blog rating! Well, you're going to have to be a lot more obscene than that, hehe.
I am so going to love your pregnant snark! Make sure you post about it lots!
You go girl!
You mean once I get pregnant I'll have the snarky comebacks ready immediately? Fantastic, normally I think of the good ones hours later.
and that is so why we love you!
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