Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Demolition 101

1. Make sure you have a brother as awesome and capable as mine. He pulled down wall studs with just his hands.

2. Have plenty of band-aids on hand for said brother.

3. If your breathing is fogging up your goggles, then the dust mask isn't well fitted.

4. Duct-tape your bra to your chest - chunks of plaster do not mix well with sore nipples.

5. Remember to make hilbilly-like noises every time a large chunk of wall comes down. YEE-HAW!

6. Keep your water bottle covered.

7. The bigger the sledgehammer, the more satisfying the crunch.

8. That brown contractor paper won't hold up to falling debris. Use a few layers.

9. Have a good mantra, like "it's only drywall" or "I've always wanted open concept!"

10. Steel-shanked boots. Not only do they protect your from stepping on nails - they can also be used to kick the $hit out of Canadi@n Tire employees who don't have a clue what products they're selling.


Anonymous said...

You make me laugh! Can I borrow your boots?

Gil said...

Ha ha ha! Gimme those boots. I needed a pair the other day for a guy at Ron@. I could have popped him one. Don't TELL me that you don't carry it; I just bought one last week you a$$!! Idiots. Yeah, lemme know where you bought the boots. We all need a pair. We can kick the living shit outta IF if nothing else!! *hugs*

Barb said...

That's all I have to say! I was literally laughing so hard that I was crying!!

Thanks! I needed that:)

Aurelia said...

I am SOOO laughing at you right now. I need those boots!

Laura37 said...

I'm so excited about your remodel!! Cant wait to see pics!!

The Town Criers said...

Sounds like a really good way to get out some anger :-)


Huge huge grin right now.

The water, of course, is on the house. But you can order something better than that.