Lately I've noticed two schools of thought about ttc. One is "oh my god, this sucks, and if I hear a mom complain about her newborn again I'll have to punch her in the teeth", and the other is "God has a plan and everything happens for a reason". Now the latter philisophy is wonderful, but I've noticed something about it:
The only people who seem to genuinely believe that there is a greater plan and accept their part in that are people who have managed to get and stay pregnant.
And it seems to be a crazy amnesia thing, too... once upon a time they may have been like me: angry, pissed off, depressed, feeling that there is no justice in the world and no rhyme or reason to infertility. And then they get pregnant, whether after months or years, and suddenly they're all blissful and in tune with the "greater plan".
Um, hello? Doesn't anybody else think this is a crock? Come on... if the only people who accept the situation are people who've finally gotten what they want... isn't that a flawed situation? I mean, really. Is there anyone out there who is STILL infertile, maybe someone who has given up on ever having children, who hasn't been able to adopt... who actually believes and wholeheartedly accepts that their childlessness is part of a greater plan... and is actually at peace with this?
Anyone?
Yeah, that's what I thought.
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4 comments:
Nope, this beast is not OK with me. Not in any way. I don't care about the greater plan. I want a baby, and I'm pissed off that I can't have it.
I'm going to have to second lynn - both with the AMEN to your comments, and in that those people, the ones making the 'believe in the greater plan' comments are just relieved that they didn't remain in the wrenched cycle of infertility we are stuck in.
I don't know that I could ever be okay with this (at least not without the meds mentioned above), but I've got to figure out some way to try, otherwise it's all going to become far more than I can bear. I don't think that will ever mean I'll come to peace with things - I am definitely devastated and bitter and don't see that changing anytime soon - I'm just hoping I find a way to move through life without that burden crippling me.
Lots of love
I believe in the greater plan. It's my plan and it encompasses having what I want. Right now that's a mini cooper s (with a union jack flag on the roof) and a ickle Russian daughter. Will I have both? Toooooo right I will!!!
I completely agree - it's so hard for me to deal with those that forget the anger and the tears once they've moved on. You said it perfectly.
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