Friday, March 23, 2007

I can't help but wonder...

There's a philosophy in Judaism that says if you're in a tough situation and you say, "this is impossible..." then God says, "Really? I'll show you what impossible really is!" But if you say, "this is such a blessing," God responds, "Really? I'll show you what a blessing REALLY looks like!"

Yesterday I was telling my friend X (who, by the way, has made it to the second trimester and is my inspiration right now) that part of me wants to be pregnant immediately, and the other part of me feels that it might be a blessing to not be pregnant while we're renovating and moving into our new house. I've finally realized that things are okay the way they are. We're doing our best, we're moving forward, and in the meantime I have a new house and all the fun of decorating and renovating to keep me busy. What a blessing.

Enter God. "You think this is a blessing? I'll show you what a blessing really looks like..."

The clinic called this morning. Dr. C. had a cancellation on April 3. Would we like to have our review then? Hell, yes! So now our review will be the day after our beta, and a couple of days before our next cycle starts (if our next cycle starts, that is). In other words, perfect timing.

Those of you in the know are now thinking, "why does April 3 sound so familiar?" Um, because April 3 is the first day of Passover. I hesitated for about three seconds... and then decided that a) the clinic is a five-minute walk away, b) we don't have to pay or anything (thanks, OHIP!), and c) this would enable us to continue working towards the mitzvah of being fruitful and multiplying. Right? Right?!?

On second thought, maybe that was God testing my dedication? But whether it's about my dedication to Judaism or my dedication to having a baby, I have no idea.

No matter. Today I'm taking this as the blessing it already is. I've received my reassurance for the day.

And now I'm going for a walk. Hooray for spring!


Aurelia said...

Congrats! I'm glad you got moved up.

And I am finding this amusing BTW, if you are 5 minutes away from the clinic then I have probably seen you walking down the street a dozen times whenever I go shopping...we definitely have to get a group together of IF bloggers meeting for lunch or coffee or something.

Anonymous said...

hey december!
i love it all!!!!
and here's hoping you don't even need the 3 april consult!!! but, (are you listening G-d?) it's perfectly okay if you do!

enjoy your walk and thanks for your comment: i'm planning on posting today!


Anonymous said...

ps...i can only post anonymously from work!

oh, and....



The Town Criers said...

In my opinion (and I'm not a real rabbi; I only play one on tv) I think that counts in the doing-anything-to-complete-a-mitzvah category. Especially when sanity and peace are taken into the picture :-)

Here is hoping that the consult is simply a congratulations meeting after the beta. And if not, that G-d shows you a real blessing :-)

megan said...

congrats on a happy cancellation. sounds like the timing is perfect!

My Reality said...

Congrats on having your appointment moved up.

I agree with Aurelia, we need a meeting of GTA area bloggers. I will bring chocolate cake!

Elizabeth said...

Hey girl, I'm totally with you, sore nipples and worrying about progesterone levels and all (cd29, 11dpo). Faith has been a tough thing for me so it is inspiring to see yours. May your life be filled with an abundance of blessings!

sariel & shlomit said...

ditto to aurelia and my reality!

LorMar said...

This post gives me hope. In turn, I hope you have a baby sooner than you think.